_i_c_i_e: Shut It.

Preface: Picture #1 is totally unrelated to remainder of post. But that Absolut bottle carved out of ice is pretty sweet. As for pic #2 is concerned, I think it complements the title of this entry quite nicely. Can't you see "shut it" coming out of that girl's mouth? I can. And it's my mouth. So, I should know.

Continuing on...this is me, writing you (well I guess not you b/c do I really know who you are? Not really. You could be anyone), from class. Pay and rewards to be specific. We’re having an intellectual debate regarding the accounting methods for expensing employee stock options, it’s FASB v. the world here. I’m sooooooooooo stimulated right now. I’m sure you have never been jealous of my life before but right now if u r reading this you are probably at the extreme opposite end of jealousy re: my life b/c this is undoubtedly the most boring portion of my day (or week, maybe month) thus far.

Wanna know what’s good though? I think I don’t speak alone when I admit that I am taking this class b/c approximately 1 hour through the 3 hr session the prof has delicious mini sandwiches (3 for me today: egg salad, chick salad, ham and swiss), cookies (a bite of M&M), and drink (glass of pinot grigio pour moi) delivered. Yes, I’m getting tipsy while observing a fabulous lecture on the subject of stock options. Oh wanna know what else is funny? I limit to one glass so I really don’t get tipsy but I have some lightweight friends in this class that actually do. Two sessions ago, I got two texts w/in 10 min from Aly and Meliss both saying: “I’m tipsy!” Ha ha giggle giggle. How fem can you be? That’s more fem than Warren watching What about Brian?.

Anyway, completely unrelated. A game that I used to play frequently w/ Brett (hi Siggy) involved the exchange of our fav songs from rap songs. Actually it wasn’t really an exchange but we’d try to fit them into everyday convo. Like maybe for instance if we were talking about liking something or not, I’d be like, “well my granmama hate em but my lil momma love em” – can you name that song? It’s from Grillz. Thanks. Anyway. Or maybe if we were talking about leaving I’d be all, “Then say they wanna leave cuz they say you outta must’ad!” That’s Go DJ by the esteemed L’il Wayne. Love him.

The point of this (I must interrupt my own self and mention that a certain classmate _i_c_i_e is truly asking a weird question right now. Hey, shut it) is that I have a new fav rap song line. I have always never understood why hood rats buy packs of Hanes ts that are size you’re really really really fat and huge and wear them like dresses. So in the latest song that tops my list of personal favs Andre 3000 espouses: “Your White Tee Well To Me Looks Like A Nightgown / Make Ya Mama Proud Take That Thing Two Sizes Down” Andre: I say thank you! I could not agree more. Make your momma proud damn it!

In conclusion, to tie this all together, hey, _i_c_i_e: shut the f up.

DouLikeMe? And Other Stuff.

Did you know that BMW makes an 8 series? I didn't. But then this morning while driving to school there was this really ugggg-llllyyy car driving behind me with those stupid ass fold down headlights, it was totally Kit from the 80s, at least I think the car's name was kit, but whatever, it was ugly. And I saw the BMW sign on its hood and was like no way that dude must've stolen the ornament and put it on his 80s-Camaro-esque vehicle, so I slowed down to let the car pass me so I could see the rear and indeed! It was a BMW.

It's funny that I started off my day w/ this car thought b/c then in my global ops class we were doing a case on BMW, ironic. But we were discussing the elements of decision-making when men make car purchases, and one item brought up was how men that have families will buy dumb cars so they still feel masculine. And it totally dawned on me that THAT was my childhood, b/c at one point in my youth Dick drove a Porche 911 and you'd think that was hot but in reality it was totally embarrassing if he ever came to pick me and friends up at school b/c it was so f'in loud plus you couldn't really fit into the damn thing. Total mid-life crisis right? He did get rid of it btw, right before my 16th bday. Do you think that's coincidence or planning? I'll plead the latter.

Oh Jason: this is a shout-out to you. I wondered how that blog you're planning to back-date and write is going for you. Did you pull that all-nighter?

And Jason brings me to my last thought of the mid-day which is re: to tv. It's funny, b/c most people actually try to decrease the amount of tv that they watch and meanwhile I'm trying to increase the amount of tv I watch. I went over to my friends' Jason and Warrens last night to revive our Sunday tv and dinner nights (it was Mon but whatever) of yester-quarter and we did 24 and What About Brian, neither of which I actually watch. But I think I'm going to try to get into them. I think that's weird.

Anyway, I'll leave you with this: www.doulike.com as someone on mySpace messaged me this link. I don't so much get it. But it's kinda funny cuz it's so totally reminiscent of like fourth grade where you pass your crush that note that's all, "Do you like me? Circle yes or no." But for the modern age. Oh, I'm not on it btw, so don't try to find me there. Ciao!

All Women Have Cellulite

Title: Revelation from SDance. Revelation for some. Eye opener for others. Anyway.

Well, shit. I started to write a blog entry like a week ago but it never really went anywhere. It was about Sundance, but it’s funny b/c I guess that was only a week ago but for some reason feels like it was an eternity ago. I think it’s mostly b/c I have four day weekends and three day weeks, and it makes time feel just really out of whack. I don’t think I’m ever really sure of what day it is, b/c Friday is like my Sunday is like my Monday….each day I can pretty much do whatever I want. And I’d like to say I have all this work to do…but that would be a total lie, b/c I really don’t have that much work to do at all. I’m kind of just a total, utter, slacker. I’d also like to say I feel guilty, or that it’s not agreeing w/ me, but I’ve rather moved past that point. I’m starting to realize that never, ever again will I be able to have 4 day weekends and just shape my days to be whatever I want them to be. And sometimes they will be a waste. Take today for instance. I woke up at 11, made an omelet and some coffee, and then hung out w/ Veeve, im’ed, emailed, etc. etc. I finally showered and got dressed at 3 – I had to go over to Melissa’s and advise her on a dress and make a trip to Staples. The funny thing was I then went home and chilled for another hour or so, and then it was time to leave as I was going to meet long-lost Sauj at the Grove for dinner. But by then the outfit of shorts, leggings, and flops I’d selected for my one hour out of the house was weather-ly obsolete – I had to change cuz by then it was too cold out for flops and leggings. Two outfits, one day, and I really did nothing. Hmmm.

Anyway, I think originally I’d planned to write about Sundance, but that’s really hard to do b/c I feel rather scatterbrained about it. I can tell you that we stayed up too late, drank too much, and skied a lot, which led to 10 people having very, very bad colds last week. Highlights include the significant amount of time spent hanging out w/ Nick Canon, which was funny, b/c we were at his after-party and everyone’s like, “we’re at Nick Canon’s!!” And we’re all like, “Umm, who is Nick Canon?” He has a bad show on MTV. That’s pretty much his claim to fame. I can also tell you that he sat across the aisle from me on the airplane and was wearing a gold rope around his neck that was apparently so heavy that he actually removed it and dropped it in his lap when he sat down…I guess that’s how you know you’ve made it in life when you’re of that big pimpin’ genre – you’re chains actually lead you to chiropractic visits.

We also spied PDiddy. He was preserving his sexy. In fact he preserved it so well that we couldn’t’ really figure out who he was. I see this dude, and I’m like, “Yo! Aaron! It’s Kanye West!” And he’s all like, “Nooooooooooooooooooooo!!” And I’m like, “Dude, it looks like him, and he has a body guard following him around.” So I walked past Kanye and told him he’s hot, and then about 20 min later we figured out it was actually PDiddy. I swear, they really, really do look alike. Not bullshitting you.

Oh, the Vagina movie was really good btw. I wrote about that right? The vagina w/ teeth movie? It was…graphic…. I saw several penile stumps, and yes, it was somewhat stomach-churning. But it’s interesting in that this chick is kinda like a heroine who has a super powered vaj that she uses to get back at bad men. So, that was nice. I guess it’s getting picked up though. So, def see it if you can stomach it. And boyz, don’t be afraid, it’s just a myth.

That said, I’m now going to write a paper for my women in leadership class. See there! I guess I am doing something productive. I probably deserve a cookie just for that.

People Like Us.

Tomorrow, I leave for the Sundance Film Festival. It's a film festival, so naturally, I am going to all of one film during my 4 day stay. You wanna know what this film is about? It's called Teeth, and it's about vagina dentata, which is essentially some ancient myth that has been passed through various cultures in various forms, but at its core, it's the concept of vaginas having teeth. It's supposed to scare men away from sex with strange women. Watch out! Your woo-ha might get eaten!

I guess the remainder of the time I'll be skiing, hot-tubbing, drinking, and partying. Or, seeing Matisyahu in concert. Oddly enough, everyone in my house of like 12 people is tremendously excited about seeing that guy. Personally I never got into this particular Jewish rapper. But, I'm going.

It's funny that I'm really doing nothing film related despite the fact that this is a FILM festival, most notably b/c someone in the entertainment business recently harangued me for going. In his words, "People like you are what's wrong with Sundance." Or something like that. "You can go skiing in Park City like any weekend you want, and yet you pick this weekend b/c you want to go for the 'parties.' And then people like US don't want to go even though we're the film people that have a reason to go b/c YOU people make it so damn crowded." I didn't realize it was so us versus them...but anyway, I'll be heading to Park City this weekend, mostly for parties, but also to make it too crowded for the entertainment people.

Anyway, I am excited. Considering the $$$ I'm shelling out for this weekend, b/t my "party pad," my airfare, my concert tickets, my lift tickets, etc. etc. etc., I am actually expected one hell of a weekend. And now...it's time to pack. Oodles of toodles!

When I was 15 it was the only place I wanted to live.

My skin is breaking out something fierce. I think it figured out that we’re moving to SF and it’s very angry and decided to strike back. What a douche.

Anyway, yes, I made it official this weekend – I signed my offer letter and will be managing brands in Oak-town come sometime post-graduation. Somewhere between the view from my 14^th floor hotel room with the splendid city view, the multiple extravagant (and more importantly, comped) meals, and the story from a future coworker about the time he accompanied Backstreet Boy’s AJ to the Playboy mansion for a benefit dedicated to Diane Warren and her life’s work of saving parrots, I decided that I found my calling from a career perspective and might as well make it a done deal.

As far as living in this cold, cold place goes, that, I’m not so happy about. I had to buy a scarf today just to survive. I got a green one, from Nordstrom, btw, but this evening when I put it on I discovered that the ends have several knit flowers attached. This means the scarf will be returned before the end of this week as attached knit flowers might be one of the worst things ever. Ever.

Despite the fact that I’ve really only been an LA’er for like 1.5 years, I’ve grown accustomed to 50 degrees officially falling into the “cold weather” bucket and rain being something that is really something for people who live elsewhere. Now elsewhere will be SF, I’ll be one of those people, and 50 will actually be quite temperate.

Anyway, can I just share the favorite part of the housing tour I went on this morning? We drove past some park, I now forget the name of it, but I guess it’s some really great park, and our tour guide gives her perspective on how wonderful it is b/c it’s so diverse yet so big that everyone gets along in perfect park-y harmony. “So you see, everyone has their space here. Down there at that end you have the Hispanics who come to play soccer. Then up a little further, the Asians come to practice their Tai Chi. And then you have the part on that hill where the musicians come to smoke their dope. And right next to those guys, you have their moms holding their playgroups. And so, you see, there is plenty of room for everyone to coexist happily.”

Charming. I guess this explains why after seeing several puddles of pee, two drug deals, countless crazies, several sex shops and strip clubs, and a couple prostitutes within a certain 3 block trot, we came upon Abercrombie, Juicy Couture, and Bloomie’s. All happily coexisting. A veritable patchwork blanket. Sans attached knit flowers. SF...here...I...come.

Valcor!!!

I just heard an ad for “high-performance” tampons. I understand that we live in a world where high-performance is not just for snow skis anymore but rather regular everyday items like razors that have no business being high-performance, but I fail to see why it would ever be necessary to use a high-performance tampon. I’d really like to know what exactly this HPT does aside from its singular, obvious function. If anyone has some insight, feel free to share.

Anyway, I have been back here in LA since last Tuesday. I didn’t think I could sick of lunching, shopping, and hanging out, but I think that I’m sick of…lunching, shopping, and hanging out. Also, the ridiculous amount of spare time has led to two things: 1) when you have this much time and you actually have work to do, it’s impossible to make yourself do it b/c you’re like whatever, I’ll just keeping “watching true life I’m a meth addict” and do my work tomorrow; and 2) any little thing that is on my mind is on my mind like 28 times worse so that I just obsess over things as I have all this unutilized brain space. I have class starting tomorrow…thank G_d. Did I just say that? I did.

I am actually going to go do work now though believe it or not, but I wanted to leave you with this. Do you see the picture here of this animal? This is some sort of seal, I forget what kind, but they are big and furry and very cute, clearly. But do you see what it looks like? I’ll tell you. I was w/ Jaime the other day and we started talking about Never-Ending Story which is one of the greatest movies of all time. And she noted that she saw this seal thing in Argentina over break that looked like Valcor from NES and here he is, and he really really does look like a black Valcor. I guess he doesn’t fly, and that’s too bad, but oh well.

Alright then. The end.

But where is Frank?

I do love Las Vegas, this much is true, but I have never wanted to get out of a place so badly. It could’ve been the fact that yesterday morning found me setting up residence on the lobby couch of the Homewood Suites in Henderson NV eating Chinese and watching Bobby Flay before going on to have one of the most awkward afternoons in the history of my life (not bloggable sorry), it might’ve been that the desert air was starting to make my skin crack up and my face break out, it could’ve been the disgusting amounts of alcohol that were and always consumed in that city, but I’m so, so, so glad to be back in LA. Although I must say, I think I slept in a hotel bed yesterday for about 4 hours, a couch for about 5, and the backseat of Frank’s Honda for around 5 before my own bed for 10 – and I’m still f’in tired, I am.

Anyway, the trip was good, of course it was, I was there. Let me give a run down and focus on the highlights. I’ll start at the beginning, last Thursday, I’m home in IN, and around 3pm I begin puking and I keep going until around 7 and finally get in bed around 10pm to get a good night of sleep before waking up at 5am the next day to catch my flight back. This is relevant, as my day of sickness prevented me from going out post-rehearsal dinner. It didn’t keep Winnie, Kokko-monster, Frank from going out. I talked to Winnie around 11am the next day. I guess they were awake until 8am and then got a room at the Palms where they slept until around 1.

It was revealed around this time that Frank had been kicked out of the club at some point for reasons unknown, and by 3pm he was still missing. At 4:45 the wedding ceremony was over and Frank was still missing. At 5pm Winnie got on the phone to 311 which is like 911 but for non-emergencies. Eventually he tracked down Frank, also known as Inmate # 2592710. He had been picked up for “vagrancy lodging.” We still don’t really know what happened and never will, but somehow he ended up sleeping in room 411 at the Hampton Inn v. room 411 in Homewood Suites. How he got in, and how he was discovered, are both hidden deep in Frank’s hazy drunken memories never to be recovered, but around 6pm he did show up looking very dapper indeed with good stories about his crack dealer roommates and trays of gruel. We decided that jail kind of sounds like being stuck in the airport for 10 hours.

I’d also like to note that Kenny Lee (not his real name but I don’t so much know him anyway) passed out on the Homewood Suites lobby before finding his way into the hotel room of the groom’s parents and vomiting profusely, and Dingo (who I also don’t really know but I guess he ate your baby) passed out at the country club and was delivered via cop car. The night was topped off with some gambling and drinks at the Green Valley Mountain Ranch which is a massive off-strip casino somewhere in the middle of nowhere NV. This is the part of the night where I hurt myself. I was wearing the highest and skinniest pair stilettos in my wardrobe and mind you they are sandals and offer no foot support. I was half-way down a massive escalator with another chic and we were apparently not supposed to be going down and I suggested we just sprint back up. I did very, very well and nearly made it when I bit it at the top. I was rewarded with several bloody toe cuts (I was much more concerned by the blood on the sandals than the cuts) and three very nice bruises on my right leg and feet. A job well done I say.

As for NYE, I ate dinner at Applebee’s with Winnie and a bunch of Garg’s old frat brothers who I might add are exceedingly obnoxious although not really in a bad way so that really kicked things off right. It might be noted here that Sean is a dbag and ditched out to chill with his cousin who he’s clearly tight with given that he had not seen her in about 4 years, and KokkoMst left around 10am that morning with nary a word of goodbye b/c he apparently “just couldn’t take it anymore.” Frank meanwhile was with 2 college friends and his family that we eventually met up with at Mandalay Bay where we remained until 4ish. Besides me losing $100 in under 5 minutes and taking many many lemon drop shots I haven’t much to say. It was fun and I have to note here that Frank’s college friends are from a family of 4 boys that are each 1 year apart. They were born in the UK and thus all have great accents and I don’t really get it but they were all dressed up in various outfits: one in Lederhosen, one in a safari outfit, one as a circa 1987 suburban gangster, and one in a pee-wee herman costume. I see neither the link nor the point but they were highly entertaining. Of course most things are post many lemon drop shots and glasses of champagne.

So there you have it. Another wedding, some new stories, and a brand new year. And guys, early prediction: this one is gonna be a good one. Wanna know why? b/c 7 is my lucky damn number and it’s 2007, and therefore, it has to be awesome. So cheers to that. The end.