Some Things You Can Always Count On

The weekend brought with it a series of revelations for me, revelations about things that you can always count on relative to LA. Like here's my first one. It's warm, sunny, and beautiful in LA about 340 days/year. And I assure you, your East Coast friends who are leaving behind brutally cold temperatures and snow to go to the beach with you will definitely come on one of those remaining 25 days. Let me do some quick math. That is only 7% of the time. But you mark my words, it will happen, here in LA. It's one of those things you can count on. And then you'll spend the weekend taking your friends to "beach" parties where they have to put jeans over their swim suits and bundle up in sweatshirts, which is so NOT beach, so NOT LA. And you'll feel guilty even though you can't do anything about.

Other things you can count on. LA is f'in ridiculously big. Like it goes for miles and miles and miles. You can drive 3 hours and still be within LA county limits. In fact, according to Veeve, this phenom could be called "Disturban Sprawl." She said she MUST be credited. Do you get it? Disturbing...Suburban....you get it. This is more related to the add for "Disturbia" we just saw but never mind that. Anyway, so it's big right? huge. And despite that fact, you run into people you know all the freaking time. I was just out at dinner w/ a bunch of compatriots at Bandera (v. good but it ain't no Houstons even though it does its best, sorry!) and we ran into three friends all out in different groups. That's weird. It might happen in mosquitoville, Mississippi and you'd get that but here it just doesn't add up. And yet it happens.

Also: you will NEVER leave your house and drive more than 2 blocks without seeing at least once Range or Land Rover. And it will be black. It's like THE car. They are everywhere.

What else. You will never go anywhere public without seeing someone who looks so utterly ridiculous that makes you shake your head over how ridiculous they are. I can't really describe what the ridiculousness will be b/c it can take so many forms. But it's there.

Some other small tidbits: there will be traffic on the 405. 8am Saturday? Check. 3am Wednesday? Check. 2pm Thursday? Check. Sucks. There is not room for more than one "hot" club at a time. If it's Le Deux, it's Le Deux. I mean hey, I never even go to these places, but that is what "they" say, and I always listen to "them." I think that applies to restaurants too. But then again, even if a restaurant hasn't been hot for like months or even years, if it ever at one point was THE place, the hostesses will still be super bitchy to you and will not seat you until at least 1/2 hour AFTER your RESERVATION. And that is not even at the hot places. If it's not hot I don't even KNOW what happens after that b/c I don't go to hot places anyway. So I guess that is something else you can count on.

Ok I can't think of anything else right now. I am watching The Hills Cram Session and it's rather distracting. But I do have another odd bit of knowledge for you. Did you know that different kinds of designer jeans apparently are meant for different things? i tried on some Hudson's this weekend. I like them but my shopping companion nixed them. I was then telling Aly that I liked them and she was like "no you don't need Hudsons." Why not? I guess Hudson's are for people with ample rears. Now on this point I disagreed b/c hey i DO have a very ample bottom, but she disagreed (b/c friends will never tell you that your ass is ample but anyway), but I guess I can't wear them anyway b/c then I'd think to myself, "are people like wow that girl has a big butt. I mean, look at her! she is wearing Hudsons. Those are for big butt people!" Weird. I am gonna research what other brands signify about your body at some other point in time.

Not now though. And not tomorrow either, b/c tomorrow my friends, I will be leaving for Costa Rica! Spring Break 2007 here I come. Woo-hooooo. So I won't be blogging for a while. But then when I get back I'll probably do an entry so f'in long that it will lose you 1/4 of the way through. So on that note, happy spring break to you. Safe travels if you're going anywhere and don't do too much or something like that if you are not. Best wishes and sweet dreams.