no more pins, no more spray, and don't touch me

So there is a sidewalk store on Montana today; Roo just got into town so post bridal shower I met her and the Veeve down there in all that madness. I figured it’d be nearly impossible for me to walk down 10 blocks, double-sided, of racks of clothes, piles of shoes, and stacks of handbags without buying a single damn thing. But in fact it did happen, mostly b/c I am fairly certain that the majority of the stores took their good stuff, packed it into a warehouse somewhere in Ventura, and then pulled all the shit they have not been able to sell for the past decade and stuck it out for 50% off. Even Planet Blue was a total letdown pretty much cuz it was like a turkey carcass, all bones, no meat, picked clean. And so crowded that I wanted to vomit. I also discovered a variety of stores that I never realized even existed. They sell things like raincoats for chihuahuas and shell-covered turtles for your door steps. You know. The daily essentials. The practical things in life.

Anyway. So I pretty much made my modeling debut on Thursday night. Look #1: sexy librarian. Look #2: nothing in particular, but v. cute dress. I know that none of you are surprised that I was involved, given the fact that 5’2” stunners with ghetto-sized asses are constantly prancing the runways, but if you were, please wipe the shocked look off your face. It’s not flattering, and I know flattering.

But so part of the deal was that we got our hair and makeup done. They were going with a side ponytail theme. So I had this wave thing going on on top of my head, can really describe, and then we had the side pony teased up into a little rat’s nest that sat right there on my shoulder. It was apparently a real good match with my suit. Personally I do always opt for 4 cans of hairspray, 87 pointless bobby pins, and hooker-style teasing, all thrown together with a touch of 1983 when I am heading into corporate America. Go figure that my choice would be their choice.

So then the hair folks would lurk around the dressing areas and insist on touching you up with meant loading you with more hair lacquer. Or perhaps a dab of pomade. Mostly they just pissed me off. but I guess that’s good for the angry-faced model thing. Which I pull of spectacularly. Or not. Depends on how you look at.

Other fashion show highlights: I did an act w/ Mark and Meliss. We both slapped Mark. While practicing I was kicking ass in the slapping dept but onstage I was weak sauce while Meliss apparently slapped the bad hair off Mark. Not so much. Sorry guys. Love you Mark. So hard though that no one even noticed my slap. What a set-back in my life. What else. I didn’t eat anything really after lunch. So the after party was fantastic, nothing like tequila on an empty stomach. Oh, and, I slept until 12:30 yesterday. That was awesome.

Ok then, veeve says time to go. I’m out love you bye.