What It's Like when Your Parents Are More Exciting than You

On Sunday morning, I enjoyed a delicious brunch and lovely company (miss you Aly!!) at Bread and Porridge, which is right next to Snug Harbor, to which the Veeve and I have been hopelessly devoted (I was working on regular status). But, now I think I might B&P better. Am I a traitor?

Anyway, after brunch, I spent a couple hours collecting all my business casual clothes (sons of bitches), biz casual shoes, and stuff necessary to transport my weekday life down South. I loaded up my car, and I am now an official resident of The OC. Not quite Newport, not quite Laguna Beach, but Laguna Niguel. Now, this place is a suburban heaven – but I have to note that what does unnerve me is its proximity to Mission Viejo – b/c that slut Casey on LB apparently has “Mission Viejo style” and that cannot be good. Did you SEE her prom dress???

Aside from that though, the digs are just fine. I am renting a furnished room and bathroom in a three bedroom townhouse. The complex is super nice, complete with a huge pool and hot tub, and I have a real yard. I also have access to a sweet kitchen (although was not sweet when all the high-tech appliances were beeping at me last night…), a fancy digital washing machine that does everything but talk to you, and wireless and cable. My mom called last night to check in on me – she asked what I was doing. I told her I was cooking dinner. Her response: “they let you use the kitchen?” No mom, I’m paying over $700 a month to be locked in my 9x9 bedroom.

Anyway, let’s talk about “they” – my surrogate/summer parents. Yes that is right. I am living with old people. The woman works at UC Irvine’s bschool and the guy is a retired colonel. They have three sons, 2 went to West Point and one went to AF Academy, who they talk about incessantly. Last night while chilling with them in the living room I listened to mom read emails from their sons out loud to dad. Good times. Actually, they are super nice – dad helped me bring my bags in yesterday and they invited me to dinner (I declined), but umm, it’s a little weird just hanging out with these people and being all up in their junk. I am waiting to wake up to bacon and eggs and invitation from mom to do my laundry. But I am not sure how she’d feel about washing my thongs… Speaking of which, not that there is anyone I’m hanging out with here, but what if a boy happens to spend the night? If you are reading this and have an opinion as to how you’d handle, plz let me know…

Yes, I am still writing. Trust me, I have nothing to do. Anyway. I moved down here to start my summer internship. I’m a product management intern at Black and Decker. No, not power tools – that division is in Baltimore – I’m on Price Pfister, they make faucets. They actually make quite a lot of sweet faucets. That might be one of my favorite aspects of the job. It’s cool to go hang out in the bathroom; they have like a different cool faucet at each sink. I was washing my hands in the kitchen today and I noticed a sign above the sink that asked you to call so and so at extension such and such if you have comments on the feel or operation of the handle/faucet. It’s an Engineering VP. Neat.

So yes, me, B&D. I’m clearly a girly girl, and I don’t hide it, so there’s some irony in my employment location. When I dressed this morning, I picked my favorite pants which are black with pink tuxedo stripes, my favorite heels which are these lovely suede and patent creations in a wine color, and this adorable Nanette Lepore top that is pink and has little butterflies on it. I started to feel like a total dumbass walking up to work this morning, at Black and Decker, wearing pink, pink and butterflies. But there was no turning back at the point. And men wouldn’t dare comment anyway.

Let me summarize what it’s like to be back at work, in two words: It blows. How did I ever put up with cubicle life for three years? The main issue is that I didn’t have my laptop yet, so I don’t really know what I did all day. I do know that my boss told me it was cool to head over to 24 Hour Fitness and get my gym membership. So I did that. I also got a name badge. Horrible picture. I also spent about an hour this morning trying to figure out what hell this guy that sits near me was laughing at every two seconds. I was over at the fax machine, and right by him, and almost asked him how he had so much fun at work. I finally discovered that his “laughing” is actually some sort of weird coughing/sniffing tic thing – so not only is he not really having fun, which would be fun for me, but he’s going to irritate me for the whole summer.

That’s really it. I’ll be analyzing the feasibility and providing recs on entering the light commercial and hospitality markets. I’m sure it will be super fun.

PS: final thought: how boring is my life down here. Post-work I got a haircut and ran a couple errands. Haircut: $17 from The HairCuttery. I told the woman that I was sick of overpriced haircuts and made her promise it'd be alright (it is). Came home and talked on the phone for a couple hours, ate dinner, took a walk. WAs home by 7. It's now 10, and I'm heading to bed to read a book, and my parents are still not home. Am I the coolest kid, or am I the coolest kid??