“I Got No Patience, and I Hate Waitin’…” (The song: anyone? Anyone?)

Firstly, wardrobe critique of the day – hooker boots in the summer (as Ms. Sequins is wearing them today): I say no. Oh, no doubt, I am a firm believer in the hooker boot, as I have three pairs (black, chocolate, and some lovely natural colored suede ones) – and they do not connote hooker unless they’re cheap black vinyl with a skany heel anyway. It’s too hard to explain the differentiation b/t hooker and non-hooker tall boots, but suffice to say that they have their place in the calendar year, and it is not early September. Nope, I think October is the earliest they can come out to play.

Second, conversation starter of the day – “Hey lindy, you over there? Wanna come over and hear about how I nearly died this weekend?” Umm, sure, yes, I’ll be right over. The story, in case you’re curious, involved Brad, a mountain bike, and a 4 foot long rattler. Yes, I sit right next to Steve Erwin. Let’s not dwell on the fact that my favorite Croc Hunter actually passed away this weekend…and instead, just know that Brad is still alive. Phew!

Third, key observation of the day - Wow, I’m really close to being done… I’m actually stressed right now. No seriously, you know when you’re under a deadline at work and you’re kind of frazzled and you have that little adrenaline buzz going? No? You don’t? I’m weird? Oh, ok then…Anyway, I’ve got that right now and haven’t had it since I actually had a real job v. an internship. I am currently in the process of stalking this guy from finance who I currently think of a total shithead and I’d like to go spill a cup of coffee all over him. Hot coffee. Yes.

Update, after an email (marked with a red exclamation point thanks much), a VM, and like 3 unanswered phone calls (yes I’m persistent, it’s true) I had to physically go down to douche’s office, where he sat motionless in front of his computer. Oh, hey, sorry to bug you, I just need to get 10 copies of a 50 page deck and a 50 page report and 10 CDs burnt in, oh, say, one hour, and can’t do it w/out this shit. Yes, I am presenting to the whole management team. Yes, it is kind of a big deal. Uh huh, yeah, that’s why I’m stalking you. Anyway, I guess he was essentially choosing to ignore me. How sweet.

Oh btw. So you’re thinking, if you need to print all this stuff so urgently, why the f are you blogging? Oh, b/c there is someone else I need final approval from. I like to call him my boss, but sometimes I just think of him as that guy or some guy b/c he is and has been practically non-existent for the entire summer. Unlike when I worked under the terrible Hungarian GG, who would come watch me type, and who once made me cry and yell and air jab my finger at him all at the same time, and whose most famous quote in my opinion is “Omar!!!!!! Where the hell are my Harvey Balls???? I asked for Harvey Balls, damn it!!!”

Nope, this boss, I don’t think he really knows what the hell is even in the presentation or the report that I’ll be presenting tomorrow to our executive team. His edits on my PPt amounted to one entire line of text to be added, and apparently everything I did is great, fabulous, wonderful and perfect. No one else around here, save for one guy (who has won my undying love), bothered to respond to my request for feedback either. Why is that I feel I might be chewed up and spit out into a sad heap tomorrow at noon? Perhaps b/c in my consulting days anything I submitted to the boss would come back looking like a red pen had exploded all over it and the ultimate corrected version would not even quasi-resemble the original… And here, no one really seems to care…

I guess in the end, I have my little project, my precious little deliverable to take away with me so that I actually have concrete evidence that I did actual work this summer when I go to interview for a real job in the fall. And, I suppose it was nice to earn real actual money instead of racking up debt for a few months.

Anyway, well wait, by the way, this has been written in brief spurts over the afternoon in between waiting on people. That is corporate America to me. Waiting on people. Right? Agreed? I need to start my own business. Actually I have an idea. But I can’t tell you b/c maybe you’d steal it b/c it’s so good. But once it really gets going and I’m on fire with it I’ll be sure to write about it. So on that night, ta-ta and good night. It’s bout time to head out of here.