A Little Weekend Recap. Actually a Big One. Cuz This Is Long.

Greetings and salutations from my cube. My cube, yes, b/c I am the only bschool student on the planet still working. Well probably not the only one on the planet. Actually I’m being dramatic. I know there are several andersonites still working but I like a good whine every now and then. I’m done though.

So. Hmmm. It was a lovely Labor Day. Freddie came in from NY and Liz came up from SDiego, which meant that we had 5 Wakies in LA for the weekend, which made me happy. Can I share my favorite tidbits from the weekend? I love asking questions that no one can answer, b/c I’m sure that if someone were here and I asked them, they’d be like, “no, shut up. I’m too tired to listen to your long stories.” But since I’m WRITING and I’m not TALKING, and my audience, who may not even exist at all, at least does not exist in the present moment, I can say whatever I want.

Liz’s Tooth: So anyway. We’re at breakfast on Saturday, and Liz turns to us and is like, “So, my tooth fell out the other day.” And we’re like, “Wow, did you really just say your tooth fell out? B/c that’s really disgusting.” Well at least we thought that (love you Liz!). But then she’s like, “Well actually it wasn’t my tooth. It was my crown. But I like to say tooth, b/c it’s a lot funnier. Anyway, I was going to get it fixed when I go back to DC next, but apparently my dentist no longer practices. I guess he ran off to Mexico with his gay lover.” Oh, ok, yes, my tooth fell out the other day and couldn’t be fixed by my dentist who also ran off to foreign lands w/ his gay lover. That’s crazy how this shit happens isn’t it?

One more breakfast table thing, b/c it’s something I think I’m going to start using. Liz asks me: “So, how’s Brett doing?” And out of all the things I could’ve said, there was just one thing that I could think of. I told her, “Well, he wears capris now.” Sorry Brett, couldn’t help it. But you know what I’m realizing? It’s actually a really good way to describe someone. Like, “Well, she sure has been wearing a lot of Manolos lately” might indicate sudden luck at work. Or, “Hmm, he has really gotten into True Religion jeans” might indicate a sudden frequenting of pasties parties. You know stuff like that. So now instead of being like, “Oh, she’s good” or whatever, I’m going to think of wardrobe attributes that might describe a new state of being. As for what Brett wearing capris says, I’m not sure. Hey – you’re sure you’re still straight right??? And still a US citizen?? Ok, just checking.

Anyway (and this is completely not a smooth transition but I don’t really care), on Saturday night we went out in Hollywood. I never go out there. But when I do, sure does give me the giggles. After a long line wait (and I’m taking credit for our final entrance as I was complementing one of the bouncer’s green shoes, telling him how great they coordinated w/ his shirt and how green is my favorite color and stuff), we head in. There was a lot to comment on, mostly just this gay guy who was flashdancing out of control and who’d randomly come up on you and start freaking you, but he’d be like, “don’t’ worry, I’m gay.” Oh, ok, then, continue humping my leg freely, sure go ahead. And one guy wearing a really big white purse. I wanted Veeve to ask him if it was his but she didn’t want to. No fun.

**Ok, so, you know how guys do that thing where they bust up behind you and start dancing on you? So I get a live one. And you don’t turn around b/c that is awkward. But what you do, is you give the “so????” eyes to a friend. So I look at Freds and am like, “so????? Is he cute???” And she’s like “yeah! Cute!” so I keep dancing. Eventually I turn around. And you know what, f’ you Freds. She pulled a fast one on me. Totally completely not cute at all. So he’s all can I have your number blah blah blah, and I’m all proud of myself b/c I finally don’t give it and I’m like “How about you give me yours?” so he does. And his name is Eddie.

So that happened. Now let’s fast forward to the end of the night. It’s 2, and Gen has gone out w/ Maria to our car. And we’re gathering to leave, and Freds is like “SHOTS!!!” and who doesn’t like to take a couple shots when you’re LEAVING a club??? So we do that, and I ask the bartender for his number just b/c he’s cute and I want to although I never intended to call him. So he gives me his number on the back of a receipt.

Anyway, the next morning, we’re going through our phones, and I am trying to figure out what this random 949 number is that I called around 2:15. And I’m like, “well it’s not Eddie (the ugly guy whose number I asked for); maybe the bartender?” Liz: “can’t be – remember you took the receipt and then wrote YOUR number on it after he gave you his and then gave the receipt back to him….” And yes, I did remember, I did do that...which is really really dumb. Liz: “give me the number, I’ll call it.” She calls. It’s f’in Eddie. Who I put in my phone, then called, then deleted. Why?? Who the hell knows. So she’s like, “Hi, how are you? How was your night last night? Blah blah blah.” She talks to him and it ends w/ him saying “oh I’m on the other line I’ll call you back.”

Mind you, he has no clue who he’s actually talking to, but it doesn’t seem to bother him at all. He then calls Liz back, he calls her back FOUR times. From like 2 different numbers (tricky). Until she’s finally like, “Look. I don’t know you. Stop calling me.”

Why do the people you want to call you never call, and then some guy that doesn’t even KNOW you (and sucks anyway) calls you like 4 times BEFORE 2pm on a weekend afternoon? I’m open for answers.

Anyway, it was fairly amusing, as was the weekend in its entirety. Oh wait, for the record, this is what I observed around 9:30 pm last night in Hermosa, at Dragon, where I went to watch Newman do his thing (Newman, you’re adorable when you dj). Man, that crowd was weird though. They were all wearing their “stunner glasses at night” (for real). But anyway, the observed act: I’m standing there contemplating sitting down at this empty booth, when I realize that this guy is standing there peeing on the table. He’s peeing on the table, all over it. He’s peeing on the table!!!!!!! Hands down nastiest thing I’ve ever seen. Aaron decided we should leave after that. And I agreed. I guess that is kind of how my weekend ended….Hmm. Think about that.

Final note: my neck hurts. I need a massage. I think someone owes me. And I don’t forget things. Actually I forget a lot of things, but not important things. Like massages. For me. Just a note.

Ok, I’m out. Time to 26. I’m 26ing!!!!***

**PS: Shoes – This was all harmless club silliness. No panties in a bundle plz.
***I’ll pay you $1M if you figure out what that means. Well I don’t have $1M, but I’ll make it worth it troubles. No, I wont’ do that either. But you’ll have self-satisfaction, which is nice.