Joining the rest of them.

Every holiday season Jane recieves a massive pile of holiday cards. Many of them are not cards but those letters that go on and on about how great life is in the family. And if it's not great - i.e., a divorce or something else equally un-good - then they make it sound like it's great anyway - i.e., no mention of the split: instead, "Margie is doing GREAT!!! She is dating up a STORM!! And they are all rich, handsome, and super duper awesome!! Great!"

So I decided to write one for us this year, b/c really, what else do I do in IN aside from shop, eat, and take up space at my parents' house? So if you're curious how we here at my house do holiday letters, indulge. If you want to read the only line I really like, then skip to the very end and read the paragraph about getting older:

Warm tidings from a very frigid climate!

Or at least frigid in the opinion of the writer of the first ever and very official Linderman holiday letter, who now lives in the warmth of LA and thus is unable to deal with Indiana winters. It has been a good year for Dick, Jane, and Spot as well as Dick, Jane, Sara, Greg, and Jack, and that, combined with the inspiration of years of fantastic letters from friends and family, has led to the sending of this letter.

All in our house will agree that the highlight of our year is the new bundle of joy that has taken up residence at 511 Cornwall Court: Mr. Jack Bauer, our beloved new golden retriever who since joining the family as a wee one in June has sprouted into a beautiful and very spirited 60 lb adult. Of note is the fact that Jack may be the only 60 lb golden retriever who sees himself as a 10 lb lapdog extraordinaire.

Jane, Jack’s fare caregiver, unfortunately discovered just how spirited Jack is in early October when he pulled her down on the hill. Physical therapy has been going well for her and she has graduated from crutches and is doing much better to the delight of the family. As we all know, she keeps the household running, so her speedy recovery is prayed for by us all.

Dick is taking up some of the slack but has been busy getting his new office in order. He moved North and is now just around the corner (close enough to come home for lunchtime each and every day) from Cornwall court. The office has been open for nearly a month now, and thanks to Jane’s keen eye, it looks fantastic. We hope that fake breasts continue to be in style and also hope that North-side woman value this chic accessory even more than their South-side counterparts.

Greg and I continue to thrive in LA, where fake breasts are of course valued more than ever. Greg has made dean’s list once again and will be graduating from USC’s School of Engineering this summer. Watching Top Gun 3 times a day for years on end has finally proven worthwhile, as Greg will most likely become the modern day Maverick (or perhaps Ice Man?) when he attends flight school and learns how to be a “naval aviator” in Pensacola this coming year. He is now taking orders for official-issue aviator sunglasses.

I too will graduate…again…this summer. You might know my school as the one that defeated those dastardly Trojans this winter, in what is the greatest upset in college football history, ever…or at least that is what I call it. I’ll be an official MBA. I will be leaving behind LA to pursue a career in brand management at Clorox in San Francisco, or, as Greg likes to call it (at least once/week), the most expensive city in the country, this fall. When I’m not creating the newest packaging sensations for bleach, I’ll be happy to do freelance consulting on your behalf for a very, very hefty sum. But I might offer you a special deal.

With many good things to celebrate, celebrate the Lindermans did to close out 2006, with a week in Cancun. Focal points of the week included testing the various angles of the chaise lounges to obtain optimal tanning positions and sampling the local cervezas and cocktails. Wow, it was exhausting.

We aren’t sure how another year has passed, but we prefer to think we haven’t aged at all. Except Greg, who aged 5 years to close the gap between him and his 26 year old girlfriend.

On that note, fair tidings to all and a most joyous New Years! We send you all good fortune, good health, and good spirits!

Much love,
Dick, Jane, Sara, and Greg

OH PS: random Mexico pic for you.