DC: Not a Victim of the Rash of Violent Crime!

It’s been a while, no? Did you miss me? No? I bet you didn’t even realize I was gone. But I was!!!

I ventured back to DC last weekend. Everyone asks why. But really it was for no other reason than to go say hi. Do you know what? Traveling from LA to DC takes about 4 hours (tail winds) and traveling back takes nearly 6 (head winds). This means that I traveled about 10 hours to go say “hi.” DC friends: shit, I really must like you a lot. And my apologies for perhaps seeming like I was going to fall asleep in my porridge (I didn’t really eat porridge but I feel like if u were going to fall asleep in something it’d be porridge, so there you go) at times. But shit, 10 hours.

For the record, since I always like to post my airplane travel drama up here, no worries, this trip didn’t go by w/out some. On the way there: good drama!! Marched up to a boarding flight and hopped onto a direct flight (was supposed to connect through Chi town at 4am…a good idea…). Way back: bad drama. Flight was delayed over 2 hours. Was NOT happy.

Anyway, whatever. Can I say I did something over the weekend I’ve always wanted to do? Whenever I’m meeting someone and they find out I live in LA (and they don’t), and they’re like “what do you do?” I always want to fake them out and say I’m in “the industry.” So I was out to dinner w/ Mare and several of her friends in CVille, and they’re like, “So, Lindy, what do you do in LA?” I leaned forward a little dramatically and gave a nice pregnant pause and was like, “I’m an actress!” I gave them enough time to get a nice round of “reallys?” / “wows” and then was like “No! No. Ha. I’m in business school.” I think that’s a nice contrast. Truth be told, I actually have a whole other part prepped, about how I’m bartending at nights and on weekends, but I’ve scored some small bit parts, like extras spots in the OC and whatnot… Hey dude, I have to think of something when I’m swimming laps… Anyway, it was fun. Will have to do the full version sometime.

Anyway, here is the thing. I kind forgot how those southern boyz are the biggest group of clones ever. Seriously, EVER. Here’s the uniform: long shaggy hair. Baseball cap (distressed). Polo brand polo shirt (only in pink, light blue, light yellow, or light green). Or, alternatively, if it’s chilly, a striped Polo button down. Pants/shorts: can be khaki or perhaps madras. Or maybe embroidered animals. Or something equally UGGly. Belt: one of those QB whale-embroidered things. Shoes: Rainbow flops. It’s a very tight distribution if you plot it, and I don’t think it’s a normal distribution b/c I’m sure that more than 68% of the sample falls within 1 standard deviation of the mean. Stu: these boyz are all yours. I’m over them.

What else did I learn. I learned that my friends think I have an unnatural obsession for Jaleo Restaurant down by the MCI Center. Crazy thing is…I think they might be right… I don’t really care either way. I love my tapas, and I love them lots, and I love them particularly at Jaleo, washed down by copious amounts of white sangria (essentially Cava, strawberries, mint, and Liquor 43 – Fram: is that what it’s called???).

I want to also say that after hitting up my fav bar, Local 16, which is more crowded every time I visit it, I could not resist Pizza Mart. But I was in U Street, NOT Adams Morgan, and there was a Pizza Boli, not a Mart or Napoli, and they did NOT have single slices, only individual pizzas, and this massive massive man tried to pick me up for a one night stand. So I ate it anyway. And then I felt sick.

Anyway, it was 45 degrees and rainy on Sunday. It was a great reminder of why I moved to LA. But, DC friends: wish I could take you with me. Thanks for humoring my hankerings and welcoming me back to my little political hotbed. Bill: you get the award for most grown up. I’m very proud of you. The action figures have left the building!!! On that note, I’m closing up shop. The end.