Kids: Fat AND Arrogant.

So I'm in an AMR meeting today. See I'm the PowerPointer, that's my thing, it's what I do. So I'm tweaking slides and my counterparts are doing some market sizing stuff and then I have to pee. So I leave and I'm walking out of the lab but then get sucked into a conversation about if you're going on a first date with a girl and she lives totally not near you do you have to pick her up? But then my AMR group is like Lindy! We need you back here! So I go back...but turns out they didn't really need me, I don't know why they tore me away from such a productive convo, so instead I am reading email and g-chatting and I don't know what I was writing but Gmail picked up something which sent me to this article about a kid in the UK that is so obese (like nearly 200 lbs at the age of 8) that authorities are calling it abuse and threatened to take him away from his mother: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/17366915/

Seriously, this is creepy! This mom is all, well he refuses to eat vegetables or healthy things. You know what? My kids will f'in eat what I give them. The dude is 8. He can't drive to the store and buy his own food. At 8 aren't you like learning how to read or something? Your kid can't drive, he can't read, he's practically armless, and you aren't able to control what he puts into his mouth??? That's sad. Now, the bigger issue at hand is that kids are alarmingly overweight and it's simply unhealthy. Hence, in sum - Kids: fat.

Now you think that fatness could contribute to low self esteem. Now let me stop myself for one moment and say this: I'm not trying to be totally mean here I'm just getting some thoughts out ok? And anyway, nice schmice. So, continuing on. After I read this article I seem some other MSNBC article about how kids are not suffering low self esteem at all. On the contrary! They're actually totally narcisissistic. I couldn't find the MSNBC link but here's the article on some other site: http://www.dailynews.com/news/ci_5312072

Ok now this article is about how we're pumping up kids' egos too much to the point where they're totally vain and narcissistic and it's going to make them terrible adults who have shallow relationships and can't love people. Or something like that. And the root of the problem is that they are in preschool singing "I am special, I am special. Look at me! Look at me!" to the tune of Frere Jacques. Truly. I read it in the article. So this means...Kids: arrogant.

I guess my point here is that America is now overrun with a bunch of fat arrogant kids with entitlement complexes.

I prefer to think that at the ripe age of 26 I don't fall into this generation of chubby narcissists. But to bring this back to relevance to my life, in my women in leadership class (which in another topic I could just tear it up with but don't get me started) all the speakers, and they're awesome so G_d bless them, seem to think that we're like 18. They're like, "we're looking for interns! be sure to think about that option when you head back to your dorm room to watch The Suite World of Zach and Cody tonight!" And I'm all, right. You totally know your audience. And then I'm thinking, shit, if they think we're all this young, they probably think we're in that chubby generation of narcissists!!! So anyway, that is just the kind of thing that I'm thinking about right now. No abnormalities here. Nope, totally logical train of thought.

A Whole Lot of Ugly

I don't typically devote entire entries to celebrities, mostly b/c I guess I don't usually have anything much to say on them that you can't read on blogs such as thesuperficial or mollygood which are super super amazing and are actually devoted to celebrities. No, I prefer to write about much more entertaining things, such as turning into my mom, or my parents' dog, b/c well, that is just how exciting I can be.

But, in honor of the fact that for the first time in my whole life I actually watched The Academy Awards nearly in their entirety, I think I shall today, devote an entire entry...to celebrities. Know why? Because last night they pulled out alllll the stops and put on some truly ridiculously ugly dresses. I was over at Sonny's, in the kitchen cooking up some strawberry shortcakes, and Sonny and Jen were just tearing apart the poor dresses. And I was like "hey now! surely they aren't so bad!!" How wrong I was... Let's start with what was most definitely the absolute worst look of the night: K Dunst.

Spideywoman: your bangs look like the ones I had when I was 5. They didn't look good on me then, and they don't look good on you know. Furthermore, your teeth look weird and I think it's cuz your red lipstick may be all over them, can't really tell, but they look jacked up. Continuing to the dress, first of all, collars like that have a place - and it's on oxford shirts. They aren't meant for evening gowns. Cutting edge? No. Ugly. End. Finally, you don't need to wear a feather duster. They actually have Hollywood Blvd shut down for the next two days cuz they have cleaning crews that take care of sweeping up the streets.

Gwyneth: Your dress is heinous in just about every way a dress could be heinous. The thing is, with you, I've always been flabbergasted. You never fail to pick the ugliest dresses, event after event. Case in point: does anyone remember this monstrosity???
You see, it's about playing up your best features. Gwen seems to like these things with sheer bodices that emphasize her boobies. Thing is, I don't think they are much worth emphasizing. And I can empathize - I'm a small breasted woman and I'm fine w/ that, but I don't typically make fashion choices that thrust my boobs out there and make them the highlight of my outfit. Anyway, Gwyneth - that brown dress is really ugly. Yuck. Next photo:
You: I don't know who the hell you are. But you were apparently at the Academy Awards, and I think you are wearing a wedding cake. A wedding cake from 1953 that was served up at the Holiday Inn. It didn't taste good and I wouldn't have eaten any. And I certainly wouldn't have worn it. Bad choice. You lose. Final fotog:
Anne: did you forget to take the wrapping off your dress when it arrived? No? You say that huge giant black velvet bow like the kind you wear on the back of your dress when you're dressing up for Christmas at age 8 is actually part of your look? Oh, ok then. My bad.

I'm sorry! I know it may seem to insensitive to dig in so heavily on these women, but seriously, you walk red carpets - they don't serve any purpose but for you to be photographed and videotaped. So you know you're being scrutinized. You also spend one bazillion dollars on one single gown, and with money being no object, I'd just figure that you could pull something out of your Valentino ass that looks good. Call me crazy. Ok then, I think I'm done. Picking on other people's clothing is somewhat exhausting! I'm out.

I guess it's inevitable anyway

So, first of all - 11:15pm, on a Friday - what the f is there traffic on the 10 and the 110 in both directions for? No I mean seriously, where the f are all you people going? I guess you're all going out which is nice, no I'm really happy for you, celebrate, please - but that many of you? In transit to celebrate? I don't understand.

Anyway what is more important here is that I think I'm turning into my mom. First off yesterday I go out to Marina del Ray in the afternoon (in the rain thank you) to pick up my computer from FedEx. So I get there and it's totally not there b/c I guess it's with a driver for pickup attempt number 2 and not due back until like 7pm. So I guess I should've read more carefully or some shit like that and it's totally not the guy's fault, but instead I am just a total bitch to him b/c I'm so angry i can't pick up my computer. And then I just storm out. And then I feel REALLY bad but what am I going to do? What is the connection to my mom you ask? She has a nick name sometimes...Mean Jane...she's sweet as pie if she likes you and stuff but you see sometimes she has a tendency to be a leeeetttlee bit nasty when she's irritated. So don't ever irritate her. Anyway, the move y-day, totally mean jane-esque. (oh for the record, I did pick up the laptop today and I apologized to the guy and he was very nice and then we bonded over my Le Tigre vest)

Continuing on with the theme. So then tonight I'm putting on my lipstick and what is it? Chanel red - Russet Moon to be exact. Jane is a red lipstick wearer and I have always hated red lipstick and found it so unbecoming, but I have now worn red two nights in a row and enjoyed it thank you - and the thing is...among Jane's extensive collection of reds, Chanel Russet Moon was included...so jane-ism number 2.

And, recently I bought a new perfume and I chose Clean Provence which is totally not Jane, but I very very almost bought Shalimar which is TOTALLY jane and hence, three similarities, all realized very very close together, hence I am becoming my mother. Yikes!

anyway moving on...so I just got home from dinner w/ Freddie and her parents (where my 2 favorite quotes of the evening from Mr. Freddie include: "I always wanted Katie to go to Westpoint" (if you know KFreds at all you totally are laughing right now and furthermore I just want to note I called her KFreds whcih is most simliar to KFed which is very very funny) and #2="You can't have ice cream with carrot cake. You definitely cannot. That should be illegal.") Only funny b/c it's funny to think anything to do with cake or ice cream would be illegal. Now, having said that, I am home and trying to make my computer work.

It's not. I'm on the loaner trying to work my newly returned HPiece of Shit which is NOT functioning. And you know what I had to do to it tonight? I had to put the hard drive back into it. I had to use a veggie peeler to unscrew the HD from it's external casing and then figure out to re-insert it. That could be why it's not working. But that does not make sense b/c all my files are coming up properly, it's just not working right. What the f. After all that hardware installation by me, and I def don't DO hardware installation work yet alone things that involve screwdrivers very often, and still no functioning laptop.

So then, I'll leave you with this. Last night on my way home from Hwood (saw Wicked which I loved but maybe that is b/c I adored the book and the original movie is in my list of top 3 fav movies of all time) I saw the following as a topic of discussion at a church: "Black Gay Men and Crystal Meth." Really? Does this constitute a topic of urgency? My that is niche. So niche. Dont' you think? Contemplate. Now then, my computer is still not working. Guess I'll have the pleasure of waking up, putting on my Russet Moon in the morning, calling HP, and being a tot. bitch to the outsourced tech dude that has the pleasure of speaking with me about my non-funcioning laptop. Better get a good night sleep before I do that...

Why I Do NOT live in Indiana

Seriously, how cute does Jack B look playing in the 16 inches of snow that fell in IN last week? I think he must be the most beautifulest dog in the world, but that's just my biased opinion, so don't let it sway you...but I mean, seriously, come on.

Anyway, yeah, so 16 inches of snow. It was like 20 below with the wind chill. Or something really close to that. Jack B - the snow looks good on it, and you can have it. Sheesh. You could lost in all that white fluff.

That said, this morning, while eating my fav breakfast which in case you didn't know is an English muffin (wheat) w/ cottage cheese, tomato, and Tabasco sauce, I got all smiley and realized that wow, I really did have a lovely weekend indeed. I rollerbladed, I hiked, I ate out, I went out, I cooked, I slept, etc. etc.

Oh there was also Friday night, but the thing is I can't really write about that b/c if I did I'd have to cut out the parts that you'd actually want to read anyway and then what'd be the use b/c it'd just be me being all like, "oh Friday night was crazy!" but you'd read it and be all like "wow, I'm sure it was crazy but you're just not giving me anything to work with here."

But anyway: I leave you with a question. Let's say, hypothetically, that you're at dinner, it's a fairly nice restaurant, but despite this fact, it has those paper table cloths and a small glass dish of colored pencils on it. And let's say you draw something harmless, say, your name with a heard around it, b/c you're 10. And then let's say your friend starts drawing penises all over the table. What is your reaction? Are you embarrassed? Do you yell at the busboy to "leave it!" when he tries to take away the plate covering the penis? Do you ask the two guys at the next table what they'd do in your situation only to have them laugh and then to have your friend laugh back and gesture wildly, knocking over her wine glass? This is all hypothetical of course, but I just wondered what you'd do in this situation.

Or how about this one. You're at a bar. And this dude comes up to you and apparently knows you and says he met you at a party over the summer. And then you realize who he is. Would you say to him: "Oh, yes, I remember you! You asked for my phone number and then never called!" Would you do this? I did. Seriously jerk boy. Why are you bothering to come talk to me at all? Is there a point? I think not.

So, that was random, but thing is, the Real Desperate Housewives of OC is on right now thanks to Veeve and I think it makes me random and perhaps just dumb in general, so I blame Veeve for the randomness and/or dumbness of this entry. Yes, that's what I think. My brain is turning to mush. Before that happens, I'm heading off to bed. night.

Make This It Tastes Good

Read this:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070215/ap_on_fe_st/hiccuping_teen_1
Weird, right? Thanks Winnie. I get the hiccups a lot you know. But the thing is when I get them I only get like one or maybe three at a time then they go away. No one ever knows what they are. Lots of times people say "bless you" after I hiccup. This is all irrelevant, but shit, can you imagine if u the hiccups for like 28 years at a rate of like 50 a minute? Or whatever the hell this girl is going through? I can't. Sure would suck.

Can I tell you how perfect today was? SO perfect. Had to be up in time for an 8am presentation, but as the prez was followed by brunch at Jack and Jill's it was a passable engagement. Jack and Jill's btw have I talked about how good that place is btw?? Most likely I have b/c typically if I really really really like restaurant I'll talk it up whenever I get the chance, even if it's not really appropriate or interesting to my audience. Anyway it's pleasant. I followed brunch w/ a little roller blading on the beach w/ Mikey and then returned home to make us some homemade limeades and soak up the remainder of the afternoon sun on my patio. Now kids, you know I cook but I don't think I ever really post recipes here but I am feeling inspired (actually I'm really not at all; I'm waiting for Freds to pick me up and she's taking for f'ing ever so I'm wasting time and writing up a recipe will take up some more time so here we go). Ok detour aside, next time it's really sunny out and you want something refreshing make this (for about 2 glasses):

--Do a simple syrup. 2 parts sugar to 1 part water, bring to rolling boil and cool. (I made 2 cups sugar one cup water and now I have a good amount on hand, it keeps, which is nice as they come in handy for lots of mixed drinks, such as mojitos, which as we know are most delicious)
--Juice about 8 limes and and 2 lemons. Strain.
--In a tall glass filled 1/2 way with ice, add about 4 tblsp simple syrup, then split the citrus juice evening b/t the glasses, and top off w/ seltzer water.
--Add in a couple of thinly sliced strawberries to each glass so it looks pretty.
--swizzle (what a great word). drink.

And Mikey and I discussed how fabulous it would be w/ a bit of vodka added in if you were seeking that sort of pleasure. So def give that whirl if you feel so inclined and if you beat me to the punch on that concoction do let me know how it turns out for you.

For the record, it's Friday. I know I always say this, but I really, really, really, really don't want to start working this summer. Or maybe, like ever. Ok freds is here. I just heard a phone convo she had with someone else who lives in this building as she went to the wrong place. freds, you're an idiot. love you! signing off, ciao!

Dandelions=You so pretty

Another year, another Valentine's Day. I've done lots of different stuff on VDays of yesteryears. In high school, I recall roses and a date invite from some rando guy (turned him down, the flowers were lovely though). In college, I once had a dinner date at Wendy's followed by an all night study session w/ the bf at the library (can you feel the romance?). In DC I had many a fancy dinner with customized menus (names misspelled), cold food, and terrible service. Last night, I cooked w/ my friend Meg for about 25 of our single friends. No couples welcome. We cooked our asses off and enjoyed ourselves thoroughly and it was a great way to forget that elsewhere in LA couples were feeding each other bites of chocolate mousse and preparing for a night of extended foreplay and forced romantic sentiments. The closest I got was flattering comments about how I look like a 20 or 21 year old from Meg's Australian cousins and his friends...who are...wait for it: 19. I guess a little young.

I did get VDay wishes and homemade cookies from mom though. Bless you Jane.

I did not get any flowers, but I did catch a fantastic segment on the Today Show while at breakfast with Veeve and McB (who was in town for a few) yday. They had a number of elaborate flower arrangements on pedestals throughout the room, and they were analyzing the messages that each arrangement conveys. Friends: if you received flowers yesterday, let me tell you what they meant:

Yellow Flowers: Ouch. Hope you didn't get any of these. Unless you're my mom in which case you've been married for 30+ years and of course you get yellow roses b/c they are your fav. Anyway, if you are not Jane, I hope you don't like the guy too much b/c apparently he is "just not that into you." Sorry charlie. Hope they were pretty though!

Lilacs: First of all, who the f sends lilacs anyway? If you did get some...then...lucky you - "he's falling for you!" Cupid's arrow has struck kiddo.

Orchids: I saw the orchids come up and was like, oh he totally wants to have sex with you. I was dead on. Well it's something similar at least. Orchids = "I want to do stuff with you that we're not supposed to do." How randy!

Anyway, I think this is pretty much the biggest load of bs anyway. Men don't analyze like this do they?? Surely not. Over-analyzing is for women - let alone over-analyzing in connection to gift giving. I think the typical male either: 1) picks up a bunch of roses, red, b/c they are safe, or 2) calls the florist, gives a dollar amount, and says whip up something pretty. Or if you're lucky he knows your fav flower and hence that is what you get. But, regardless, I did find these flowers=message exercise highly entertaining. Ciao bellas. I'm out.

No mother board, no mother ship.

You know what is incredibly annoying? When I go to put on my iPod and instead of hitting the middle button so I go through the menu options to get to my artist of choice (currently Joshua Radin as I’m doing work and he is soothing), I hit the play button, which takes me to the very first song in my library, which happens to be N’Sync’s “the Game is Over.” Apparently I liked this song at some point of my life. I guess that was like 6 years ago or something. But now it hurts my ears. I’m guessing you may be unfamiliar so let me summarize – the song kicks off with pinball machine noises. Yep, it does. It’s terrible. Can’t stand it.

But, in other news, my f'in H-Piece of shit computer died on me on Sunday night. $200 later I took what was left of it (my hard drive) and walked out with my diagnosis from the Geek Squad: my mother board is shot. Mother board. Whatever the hell that is. Do you know what it feels like to have your computer die? Like you lost an appendage. I know it sounds dramatic, but it's true, honest abe it is. I was a bitch-a-holic on Monday. I'm over it now. Working on a loaner lap top. Or rather not working on it considering that I have a 6 page paper due tomorrow and it's 10pm and I have yet to start in on it. But you know what I liked to do yesterday? I liked to go around to my friends and be like, "Hey, look, this is my computer" and show them my teeny tiny little box of a hard drive. They laughed. They probably didn't think it was funny, but given my bitchy state, thought it better to laugh anyway. Right on.

But, who cares about my computer right? Wanna know something more exciting??? SV got engaged this weekend!!!!!! I wanted to post some pictures of the newly official-ized couple here, but, umm, well, there is no pic slot in this computer which is not my own anyway so I can't so much transfer them over. Anyway. They are adorable, I love SV and the Nate, and am 800% happy for them. And we celebrated liberally over the weekend, but I"m pretty sure we can stretch it out a couple more weekends maybe b/c hey, they're worth it. Ok then, I'm going to try to be productive now. From here on out, it's all about pay and compensation practices in Canadian professional soccer. gosh, what fun we shall have.

Wait one more thing? Know what's weird? When you're sitting with friends and they're like, "Lindy, have you blogged lately? Let me see." And then they go ahead and pull it up and start reading it when you're sitting with them. It's nice when they giggle, although you doubt their sincereity somewhat...but still...kinda odd. Anyway, just a thought. On that note, the end.

Me, I'll Take the Clothes.

So coming home from Vegas last weekend we made Gil read out loud to us from Men's Health. The articles sucked. The only ones we wanted to hear about anyway were the ones with sex tips for men and stuff b/c we wanted to verify the accuracy, but they were kind of written for like 14 year old boys or something we thought. Mikey sent out a more interesting article that would've been a much stronger addition to that total waste of a mag, which summarized results of a study relating women's feelings on the relationship b/t clothing and sex. And I quote: "Women on average say they would be willing to give up sex for 15 months for a closet full of new apparel, with 2 percent ready to abstain from sex for three years in exchange for new duds, according to a new survey of about 1,000 women in 10 U.S. cities. Sixty-one percent of women polled said it would be worse to lose their favorite article of clothing than give up sex for a month." http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20070206/us_nm/life_clothes_dc

Very interesting right? I wonder if men would feel the same way. I'm no expert in men, actually I sometimes wonder if I really know anything of value about the opposite sex at all, and I think I don't....but I'm fairly certain that men do not value clothes and sex the same way. Oh btw, this reminds me of that quote from that one high school movie - you know - that one - Can't Hardly Wait - that's what it's called, where that little dude is talking about UCLA and how all the "honies" are running around saying "Class or sex? Hmm, which should I pick today?" Funny. Anyway, I, for the record, would fully fully 100% take clothes over the other option any old day. Is this posting getting too racy?

Let's take it down a notch then and turn to a conversation I overheard in the nail salon yesterday. It's not racy in the least, but just rather very, very weird. So, I'm chilling, it's a little before 1, getting my nails did (I have to keep them manicured otherwise I'll start biting them again). And there is this chick next to me. She's in yoga clothes, about my age, she was eating lunch while her nails dried (weird), she has a Chanel wallet that was ugly, a really cute voice...umm, that's all I've got on description. So, this older (37 maybe?) woman wearing a big green poncho (and ponchos are SO done btw...although I'm holding onto my chocolate cashmere one b/c you KNOW they'll come back around soon-ish) walks in and does a little kiss/kiss with some other very severe looking woman and they're all "We have to stop meeting this way!" and then she's like "Ming! Can you squeeze me in for a quickie? Just a polish change!" And Ming's all, "yeah yeah."

So then bad Chanel wallet girl goes to her, "By the way, you look good - I definitely think you've lost weight!" And I'm assuming...they know each other - reasonable right? So then poncho is all, "Oh thanks!" And Chanel goes, "Yeah, I always see you around here." And poncho is like, "Oh, like at Blue Plate and stuff?" Chanel: "Oh, I dunno, just around here." Poncho: "Oh, you're sweet! Do you work around here?" Chanel: "No, I don't. I just...can't get away from this place..." Get away from WHAT place chickie?? Montana Nails?? Planet Blue?? F'in TCBY?? Who the f are you chick that you don't work (or I'm assuming live either) on this street and you're here enough to stalk slightly overweight, over-caffeinated, poncho-wearing randos? What do you DO??? Probably nothing. I try to get over it, but I just can't, just can't.

Anyway, that's all I've got. Ta-ta.

Moons Over MyHammy, etc. etc.

Casino night has come and gone. I give you

two photos: one is an ode to champagne, which makes me giddy, as you can see by the five-year old expression on my face as I’m being smooched by champagne-loving Ben, and the other is an ode to how things rarely change from year to year, as Mark and I once again insisted on having someone shoot a photo montage of our ridiculous dance moves. Oh, and number three: that’s my AMR team in Vegas on Sat night. Seriously: how cute are we? No really, how cute?

I have no truly great stories from CN – I def did nearly spew up a shot but instead I just kinda spit it up, and that was really gross, but also a good thing, b/c I didn’t need that shot. I also finally pulled a really dumb drunk texting move, and sent a retardedly stupid, unnecessary, and poorly spelled (timothy: translation = even though – don’t ask) text to someone who I am sure will never call me again. But then I don’t think said person was going to call again anyway, so not so much a loss anyway I guess.

I hit up Denny’s w/ Warren and Jason for some Moons over MyHammy (well actually no one really ordered that but how much fun is it to say Moons Over MyHammy??? Say it! Say it again! That’s a real, genuine entrée name!!) late night and was in bed by 2:30am which was perfect for my 6am wakeup time. Yes, 6am. Driving to school truly, truly sucked on Sat, but as soon as I got there I piled in the pack of the T&C (that’s short for Town and Country, our minivan of choice for our Vegas trip) I pretty much went right to sleep along w/ Sarah V and Stu-y-pie and Mikey so no big deal. Although I’m not sure Gil really loved it. But at least he surely got to laugh at me when I made the weird snorting sounds that I make when I’m really, really tired in the car. My mom says it happens cuz you’re so relaxed that your tongue slips back in your throat. They actually wake me up. They make other people laugh. Anyway, continuing on.

Can I tell one more quick story about the trip there? So I’m sleeping, and at one point I wake up and I’m “Gil, I have to peeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!” And I explained that I really, really had to, you know, cuz I’d been asleep so hadn’t noticed it and it crept up. So he’s all, we’ll stop at the next place – and you know, we’re in the middle of the desert here, all “The Hills Have Eyes” style, so at this point anything will do. So I fall back asleep, and I wake up to Mikey asking Gil, “wait aren’t you going to stop at that rest stop?” that we are driving past. And I instantly am like, “Gilllllllllll!!!!!!!!!!!! Why the f are you not stopping?!” And he’s like, “oh, I didn’t think that people actually stopped at those things.” And I’m like, “well, honeypie, when you’re on the verge of wetting your pants any old ceramic hole will do.” For the next 10 miles we searched for big enough shrubs to pee behind, but then we discovered some sort of market (no, it was NOT a mirage, Mikey) and I found peace.

Anyway. We had like 5 hours of meetings total once we arrived in Vegas. The highlight of the trip was undoubtedly Sushi Roku on Sat night. Our client insisted on ordering like 2 of everything on the menu. We has sea bass, we had tuna carpaccio, we had lobster tempura, we had rolls galore, etc. etc. etc. Three hours later, when dinner ended, I was so full that I was hungry. Does that make sense? Not really, but I swear, that’s how I felt. I then passed out in full-ness at like 11:30 with the girls while Gil and Mikey proceeded to go out and dance backstage with go-go dancers until the wee hours of the morning. So Sat morning’s two hours of meetings were super fun for them. Between the line presenter giving me really strange looks when I’d make comments related to Kanye West’s sense of style, or the occasional deadpan stares thrown at Stewie for asking so many damn Qs (even though – yes – we would’ve been up shits creek w/out her and her questions) or the alcohol vapors coming off Mikey and Gil, or waves of exhaustion coming off the rest of us as we continued to learn the ins and outs of selling shoes…it was most definitely a fantastic morning. I have never been so happy to get naked in a parking lot and eat McDonald’s as I was after that meeting. That sounded funny, didn’t it. you’re making a silly face now. Well, this is real long and you’ve likely stopped reading. So, on that note, back to work for me. The end.

Akward Situations, Love Em

So first off, I must mention that I totally 100% got called out by the prof the other day for being on my laptop during class. Yep, I did. I kind of was transported back to 7^th grade as that is the last time I can remember getting in trouble by an authority figure. I’ll give you the story in short: I was at lunch, and there was this bitch woman who had really bad hair who monitored the lunch room. We totally hated her. So she comes over and was all, “can you guys pick up the trash around your table?” And we’re like sure. But as soon as she walked away we’re like, “dude, it’s not even our trash.” And I was feeling rebellious that day I guess, b/c instead of picking stuff up, I actually threw a napkin on the floor. She saw me. I had to wash down lunch tables. That, my friends, is why I was always such a good girl. B/c my very (very) rare attempts to be a badass only got me caught, and in trouble, and blushing.

In other news, Sauj asked me to bring her a “sandy” the other day, short for “sandwich.” I made fun of her for using such a gay word. Then I proceeded to use the word in an email exchange w/ a friend who’s convinced he’s not gonna get a job and will have to open up a Quizno’s franchise (hey dude, chill, you’re golden). So anyway, then I had to email Sauj and admit I’d used the word myself. I guess in the end, I really do like the word “sandy,” short for sandwich. It brings me back to the years of my life when I drove my friends crazy with word-smithery, using words such as “sneezles” (for sneezes) or…wait never mind, I have no other examples.

Last story of the day before I go get totally glammed up for Casino Night where we will drink liberally and gamble w/ fake money in between taking stupid pictures w/ my new camera. So, I went on a date w/ this kid a couple/few weeks back, and we discovered that we go to the same yoga studio, which I knew was only going to be an issue. So we had a nice date but I didn’t really feel him that much + he said he didn’t like being led on, so when he called, I didn’t so much call back. So yesterday, I’m chilling on my yoga mat waiting for the 4:30 class to start, and I see this kid behind me, and I didn’t have the vantage point to see him clearly, but I’m fairly certain it was that guy. So much for a relaxing yoga session, as instead of working on my deep breathing and clearing my mind, I spent the majority of my time doing two things: 1) ensuring that I was looking extra hot (which is hard when you’re sweating profusely while contorting your body) b/c even though I don’t want to date the kid he must still realize that I’m hot (don’t ask, women are complicated); and 2) running through the various awkward conversation scenarios that could occur at the class’ end should we end up having to speak to one another. I made sure to rest on my mat for an extended time period in an avoidance measure, and funnily enough, the suspect dude peaced out of there real, real fast…So was it him? Will never know. But umm, sure did suck, so hope we don’t have another maybe-run-in. Ok kiddies. I’m out. PS: Go to Campanille for Grilled Cheese Night. It’s delish!!!!!!!