You Cannot Be Serious

The other day, while relaxing in the sun at Pacific Beach (amidst frolicking 18 year olds sporting heinous full body tattoos, keg-standers, horse shoes, blasting head banger music, and in general, frat boys), I listened to my friend Erin tell Meghann (summer intern at Harrah’s) that she thinks casinos are next in line after big tobacco and fast food to be sued by obsessive-compulsive people who f* up their lives due to their lack of self-control. No, Erin, you were off. Next in line to be sued are stars, by normal people who look like them, who must endure cases of mistaken identity…You are confused, right? This sounds completely retarded, right? No kiddies, think again. Check this out: “Man says he's tired of being mistaken for MJ” -
http://msn.foxsports.com/nba/story/5766288?FSO1&ATT=HMA
This is seriously the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever read. Or at least it’s up there.

Let’s talk about other ridiculous things. I was bitching about World Cup the other day b/c I’m so sick of hearing about it. I was ready for it to end. Then I caught the last hour or so of the France/Italy game, and now I’m sad it’s over. Yes, I am no sports-watcher, this is true. And soccer I could generally care less about, but I think I’m reconsidering and may become a devoted fan. I LOVE LOVE LOVE how dramatic these (btw very very hot) soccer men are – how they get nudged and then roll to the ground and tumble like 20 times to get a yellow card pulled. It’s awesome. Specifically, it was the head-butt that got me. Who does that??? I can’t believe that guy ended his soccer career by head-butting a guy. I bet you he gets assassinated by some crazy French dude. Mozzarella!!!!

Final ridiculous things include Meg and Warren’s house in paradise across from the seals (can I move in?), the guy I met in a bar on Saturday night who I think hit on at least 25 women and made out w/ approximately ½ of them (although this is no where near Frederick getting her skirt pulled all the way up by a guy in a bar in the Hamptons), me getting hair dye on my face so it looks like I have a birthmark now on my cheek (I called L’Oreal, it does come out but I guess I have to wash my face for like three hours or something), and going to dinner w/ my surrogate dad last night. He offered to take me. Best date I’ve had in months. Only date I’ve had in months? Yes. That too. Anyway, wow, old men don’t really talk much…I sure had to pull weight during that convo…

Alright, this pretty much concludes my thoughts for now. So, the end.