Other People’s Business: Same Thing as My Business

There was this big hoopla going on in the cuberhood today over in Brian’s neck of the woods. It was over some inappropriate email. Of course I jump up and am like “what’s going on? Let me see! Let me see!” B/c of course I cannot stand to be left in the dark over exciting things like randoid emails that have nothing to do with me. But my boss (who has maybe five years on me) is like, “no man, don’t show her. She doesn’t need to see that kind of stuff.” He’s laughing…but he’s like totally serious – he is censoring me like I’m the little kid in the office. I may be called Linderteen on occasion but I am still 25 – oh and 19 days 26 so mark your calendars – and I do NOT like this. I’m like “come on Nick I’m sure I’ve seen worse” but no dice.

Of course I did finally take a look like ½ hour ago. It was rather funny. But I won’t bore you with the details, as the real issue at hand is that I apparently am perceived as the little office innocent and not privy to viewing possibly offensive content. The irony here is that meanwhile, back at my desk, I’m reading a four part email sent from a friend in NY who was recently in the Hamptons. It’s a summary of one of her friend’s romps on the beach and it kind of reads like a Danielle Steele novel. Well I’ve actually never read Danielle Steele but I imagine that’s how they read cuz isn’t she like pretty trashy? I was blushing at my desk. Ok maybe I am a little kid. No I don’t think I am. Anyway I’m done arguing with myself now.

So then I’m GChatting with, actually, same friend. And she just returned from St. John. My friend Roo (who was recently visiting), her parents have a house there (yes, it’s ridiculous and tremendously lucky), and she took a few of our college friends with her for the weekend. And how bitter am I that I have to work and had to miss out on that trip? Off the charts bitter, sore subject, let’s not go there. But anyway, she’s giving me the brief recap of the trip. It’s something like this:

Friend*: We asked a police officer to strip. We went skinny dipping with randoms, in a condo pool where no one of us lived.
Friend: I stole a cripple's crutches, so she had to hop back from the bathroom. I got cut off at a bar. Went bushwacking through the forest in the nude.
Me: oh this is being blogged about.
Friend: oh NO IT'S NOT!!
Me: Come on. It's hilarious.
Friend: ok well wait until you have the whole story

I didn’t wait. Takes too long. And I’m impatient. Oh btw, anything in my life, which means anything in my friends’ lives, is up for grabs for blogging. Oops, maybe I shouldn’t say that. But I tend to be an honest abe so may as well throw it out there. So aside from learning that I do have to steal material from friends’ lives for my blog, I am also trying to make the point that it’s ok to show me silly stuff at the office guys! I’m big girl! I can handle it! In fact I thrive on it… Oh also, you guys, you St. Johners: what the f were you doing stealing a cripple’s crutches? That is terrible! And you, “friend” – you got cut off? I’m not surprised. And finally, bushwacking nude? The obvious question here is “why the f?” But also it just sounds incredibly painful. So much potential for bodily harm.

Ok need to run. They are yucking it up back in the cuberhood. Need to go not mind my own business.

*“Friend” is replacing said friend’s name to protect the innocent. Or, not really innocent. Whatever.