We're Going Theme-Less Today

When I begin my morning blog session I usually try to pick a theme and then go with that. It’s just like in 6th grade when you were learning how to create a composition and the teacher would be like: “Your Favorite American President” – Go. And you’d be like, “My favorite American President is Abraham Lincoln because he was very honest.” And then your whole paper would be about good old Abe and his good old honesty and the cherry tree and all that. FYO: I never actually did a paper on Abe. But I did write a report once about koala bears in 5th grade, and it kicked ass. PS: did you know that koalas are very mean? They are.

Anyway, I’ve got news guys. I have no theme this morning. Instead I have a random collection of thoughts.

Thanks for Reading, Friends: First of all, I had dinner with Kelly last night at my new fav place for the summer, Coyote Café. It’s directly on the PCH and the patio overlooks the water, views are stunning and the langastino tacos are TREE-mendous. This is all irrelevant. So, Kelly picks me up and says he has a present for me. He pulls a bag of Cheetos and a sixer of Miller Light out of the backseat from me in homage to my rant re: today’s modern manorexic. Kelly could eat even me under the table and I know that a meal w/ Kelly will not make me feel like an un-dainty hoss. Thank you, KK.

Can I Send You Some Faucets, or Something?: This is my new line. Seriously. I have been talking to all these people for research purposes, and they spend upwards of an hour on the phone – or sometimes in person – with me, giving me all this info to help me with my project. In return they get nothing at all, which makes me feel bad L. So now at the end of the convo I thank them gushingly and the offer up the only you can when you work for a faucet company, I say, “Can I send you some faucets or something?” They typically decline, although I did send one guy like 6 deluxe showerheads. They don’t want the “or something” either. I don’t really know what the “something” is anyway, so that’s good.

It’s a Lot of T&A: I was talking to this woman in our office, she’s an assistant, she rocks. She’s your motherly type, very sweet and helpful. I’m talking to her about Vegas, cuz I’m going there for ONE day tomorrow for work (sad!). She is like “Oh! I LOVE Vegas!!” And we start talking bout various Vegas things. I mention that I really like the pirate show, and she goes, “Oh, me too! But I don’t really like the new one.” I’m like “Oh, I haven’t seen the new one.” She’s like, “Yeah, it’s a lot of T&A.” And I’m stunned for a second. Can you picture your grandmother using the phrase “T&A?” No? Well that’s what this was like. Stunner!

What the F Does that Mean?: You know those vanity plates that display some really cryptic message? You get stuck in traffic behind “MR IM89STY” and you’re like, what the f does that MEAN??? They “drive” me insane (ha!). Why did you do that? Am I supposed to get it? Do you like to annoy and anger people? Or maybe most people don’t get annoyed or angered, but I do. Anyway, Veeve is really good at them. I am not. I sent her one this morning: “BNALANT.” The best I came up with was “banal ant.” But that really makes no sense at all.

Bringing Clothes and People Together: I occasionally listen to Ryan Seacrest on KIIS FM in the morning. He’s rather amusing, I must say. But anyway, he has some chick on the radio this morning and she’s kinda silly, and he asks her, “what’s your story? What do you do for a living?” Her response: “I’m a stylist. I, you know, work with clothes, and people…together.” I think that is a very, very LA response. It made me giggle. Especially since it reminded me of this book I read once called Slammerkin, and my friends Mary and Lorraine gave me endless shit for reading it (go find it at Borders if you want to know why). I always defended myself by saying, “What! It’s good! I mean, I like clothes! I like freedom!” So whenever I’m with Mare or Raindawg, I get a “I like clothes! I like freedom!” at least 28 times. It really sucks. That was pretty much one of the dumbest quotes that’s ever come out of my mouth.

You probably have a headache now from reading this rambly stuff. Go take an aspirin. The end.