LB Kind of Sucks, and I Think I’m OCD

First, two questions. 1) Every morning I heat ½ C milk in the microwave and then add my coffee for a splendid lindylatte. And I always put the milk in for 1 minute, and then when the time is down to 20 seconds left, I take it out. I know my milk takes 40 seconds to heat, but I HAVE to put it in for 1 minute. Is that some sort of OCD behavior??? 2) Why is the one guy in my office that’s from IN a condescending douche? And not only is he from IN, but he’s from my dear hometown of Carmel. He’s supporting the Carmel stereotype that I have been fighting for so long, and it pisses me off. Big dumb douche.

Anyway. Went to HH last night and enjoyed several glasses of $3 chardonnay. Who is living the high life? It’s me! I really have nothing to report, I think the usual vulgar topics that tend to come out when coworkers get tipsy were discussed. I guess the best part was the fact that on the menu was a “sausage sampler.” And this provided a good solid 30 minutes of entertainment if you combine all the random, “Yes, she’d like the sausage sampler.” “Oh you like sausage do you? So I’ve heard!” “Excuse me, what size are those sausages on that sampler? I like mine extra large.” Etc. etc. Yes, sausage, that silly food sure is entertaining.*

I got home from HH right in time to make myself a grilled cheese sandwich and settle into my favorite chair at the surrogates’ house for that most fantastic ½ of tv that you may know as Laguna Beach, or as I affectionately call it, LB.

There were no surprises guys. Cameron: still a total ass who is playing Kyndra and Jessica like little fiddles. He’s also still not that hot, or awesome. Can I interject an obsy here though? Thanks. What’s weird to me is how these kids talk about one another, kind of like they are people they have just met. Like, at least once per episode, Kyndra and Cami will be hanging out, discussing an upcoming even and who will attend. And they’re like, “Oh, yes, Cameron. The thing is he’s just such a great guy.” I find this odd. I don’t talk about my friends with my best friends like that. I might say, “shit, did you hear that so and so hooked it with so and so the other night?” Or, “I can’t believe that so and so said that. What a bitch.”

No I’m kidding. I don’t really shit talk like that. But what I’m trying to say, and saying very very poorly is that these girls seem to talk about their supposed good friends w/ one another in very general vague terms as though they are people they have just met. And I find it odd. You get???

Anyway, other than talking about people in weird ways, I think all these kids do is crash each others’ parties. Come to think of it, they have huge, planned, theme parties like every night also. Oh wait, someone just walked by and told me I look like a sunflower today. An f’in sunflower. Is that good? Anyway. Continuing. So Cami and Kyndra crash a Rocky/Tess party, and then vice versa. And then they talk about it for like 3 hours after making weird ass generalized comments. I think that’s really all that happens on this show. Well I’m writing this, and I’m starting to realize that there is no redeeming value in this show whatsoever. I’m kind of stumped at this point why I not only watch it, but kind of obsess over it. At least Sweet 16 provides excellent laugh value. This doesn’t. But, will I give it up? Hells no I won’t. that would be like heating my coffee for 40 seconds instead of 1 minute and removing when 20 secs are up.

Look at that. I’m back to where I started. Mary, Moe: It’s all so cyclical, it’s just all so cyclical. The end.

*Side note: Did anyone catch y-days NTimes article re: the return of the pig in a blanket? It’s hot hot hot. Everywhere. You just can’t keep that food down, and it makes ms so happy, b/c I LOVE pigs in a blanket. Just love them. Foie gras, you are tasty and extra fatty, crazy Asian won-tons filled w/ crazy Asian shellfish, you are cute, but y’all don’t have the staying power of a 2-cent cocktail weenie wrapped in Pilsbury Doughboy goodness.