This Entry Is About My Hair

And there is really nothing you can do about it. Well I guess you can not read it, but 1) I bet you will just b/c you bet there might be some redeeming value in it but I bet you there won’t be, and 2) I don’t really much care if you don’t read it. Well it might hurt my feelings a little.

Anyway, home over the weekend I was “hair”-spired (wow that does not even work AT all) by an old friend who used to be a sort of medium brown and is now fully, officially, 100% blond. And wow, I tell you what friend, she looks AMAZING, hands down the best color job I’ve ever seen, in or outside of Hollywood. You’d never know she wasn’t a natural honey blond. Sadly she lives in Chicago so I can’t use her colorist on a trip home to Indy. Anne – if you’re reading this – now I have told you not like 80 times how good it looks but like 81.

Well, I certainly cannot go blond b/c it would ruin my locks, cost a fortune, and require insane upkeep (my hair grows like a weed children). Oh, I also might look “pe”-tarded. But I can change things right? That is my general hair cycle: grow it out, grow it realllllly out (like it is now), then chop it, and recycle. I tried bangs last year (it was a bad cut), I used to highlight pretty heavily (cut that and now go dark/natural), but nothing ever really crazy. Although when I was living in Venice I did get a really monstrous cut that made me cry. Damn Italians.

Anyway, as I’m currently in the v. long stage, I think it’s time to chop, and I think I have my muse: the infamous 72-lb Nicole Richie. I don’t so much admire what she’s doing to her physique, but man, I have to give her credit, she has worked some wonders w/ her image/fashion. Do you REMEMBER when she first busted up on the scene – with her dreadful rat’s nest hair w/ purple extensions and terrible ill-fitting clothes? Umm, I do, and it was NOT pretty. Now, she may look on the verge of human-breakage, but at least she’s a polished looking little twiggling. Twiggling. Does anyone use that word? I am coining it. It refers to a rex-dawg. Here: “Wow, that Nicole Richie, she sure is a little twiggling!!!”

Ok, anyway, so this twiggling, in my opinion, has a great wardrobe (except that ghastly bandeau bikini that she owns in 28 diff colors) and a wicked hair cut. I’ve provided a visual reference point for you here. I want this!! Can I pull it off?? I am going to give it a try. To note, I did have a change of heart yesterday when I saw a picture of Rachel Bilson who I adore, and she had her long locks hanging nice and straight and looking fab, and resembling my current cut. But then, thing is, I really hate my hair down anyway, don’t really think it does much for my little face, so it’s always back anyway.

So, it’s official. My friend Lori does hair and she’s pretty wicked good; I’m going to trust my tresses w/ her and let her work some magic when I’m back home again in two weeks. May even get some little highlights to boot. I know, I know, I almost need to slow down!!!!

I get really deep here:* But I do have a deeper point to note here, in the context of hair. I have to say that as a woman, it’s kind of sad when you have really long tresses and you make the move to chop them off. You are not just losing hair, guys, you are losing a piece of your womanhood. I will go so far as to say that you are losing a piece of your sex appeal. And when you are virtually breastless and people call you ‘teen I don’t think you necessarily have that much sex appeal to lose (see!! I make fun of not only others, but myself, too). Bet you think this sounds crazy, but seriously. When your hair is up (and mine virtually always is), and then you take it down, men have this certain reaction. They are like, wow, look at all that hair. And they get this certain look in their eye. I already know about facial symmetry and body ratios and that shit, but does anyone know the connection b/t long hair and physical attraction? Hmm.

So it’s sad a little, b/c once you chop, you don’t get that wow factor when you unravel your hair, b/c you no longer have hair to unravel. So I suppose that for the next couple weeks I’ll be playing w/ my hair a lot just so it gets a nice sendoff. I will probably also put it up/take it down/put it back frequently. Feel free to be like, “oh wow, look at all that hair.” Or to slap me up side the head. Your pick.

B/c, in a matter of a few short weeks, I’ll be kissing my hairs goodbye. Sniff, sniff. Don’t cry for me Argentina, it does grow back. The end.

*No I don’t!!! I’m talking about f’in hair!! But I bolded it so you’d look anyway.